Subtle Kaleidoscope

epitaph  of a water sign They say that the more you dive in, The harder it gets to stop yourself From diving in, From diving in and trying To find the deepest you can go To find the longest you can hold; The harder it gets to stop yourself from dying. Much harder than crying Is to dive into something so dark and wet, So cold and dead; To pierce open his heart To tear apart, The waves that went quiet The ripples which just collide  Within themselves. They say the more you dive  The harder it gets to survive, Outside on something solid and fine  Like the land where my footsteps don't sink. The harder it gets to love life  Around the air that leaves you dry . The harder it gets to blink; The harder it gets to stop yourself From choking on water From soaking, In the dirtiest reeds In the ashes of people I had to burn The harder it gets to unlearn how to grow weeds ;  To forget the lessons they forced me to learn. Someone touched me, That hand on my shoulder lai...

 . . . I had a breakdown at 2:54 PM. But long before actually physically having the breakdown I knew I was going to have it. I knew the signs, I knew the triggers and at some point, I think I knew my biggest trigger is actually “me finding new triggers”. Like me exploring the cascade waves of the ocean through all the storm and lightning , but I figured as time passed by that the storm has either fallen into a void and now has no sound at all or the constant raging winds that were cold, carrying spikes of frozen tears of rain have pierced my ears to finally make me deaf. Maybe I am still sailing , exploring the waters for I may have grown a secret liking for a thunderstorm that either went quiet for me and giving up its very nature of being, or chose to make me deaf so that I endure its very nature of being. Either way, it remains to be the most unfortunate love story no one will know about, except for me. Either way, it just remains a story.  I  am still ...