Subtle Kaleidoscope

There's so much to do, Sneha . So much to see, so much to absorb, so much to feel, so much to be. How will you be? When will you be?  I literally never address myself with the name my family calls me, I never talk to Sona. I am afraid if she even exists in my world. I do have Sneha, different types of her, and different kinds of her. But only if I had a Sona. Technically, I am both Sona and Sneha, but I was Sona and I am Sneha. Sona is me till, I guess, 5th standard ; everything after that is Sneha. I have had someone tell me I should talk to Sona and tell her it's okay and acknowledge her, hug her. Honestly, that makes me cry so I don't do it often. It's like hugging someone you know will leave. It's like hugging someone who is not even there. So I let her play around. She dances to weird songs and reads love novels and binge eats snacks and tells you everything she knows about herself . I don't feel like correcting her, she'll grow up otherwise. I am tryin...

bits of replaying a song and wishing some lyrics changed.  (I may not be original but i learnt how to improvise better ; ) . . . Honey, when I am  Lying under the trees , I see what you see I stare blank at beliefs And I am, right now, pushing up trying to make a touch Through branches breaking up my sky. Showed you all of my hiding spots, Hide and seek , in disbelief I was still seeking when you stopped. Hearing locker keys, and small talks freeze A one that opens up my door. When did all our lessons, started to look like weapons pointed at my deepest hurt? A fool you dream, With a big man scream, I hope you get what you see, I haven't loved the new me yet, She'll never give you that. No I didn't mean that; Sorry I can't see facts, through all my man made mess. Honey, when I am above the trees , I see it for what is. But you're, right now, signing off letters  that you wrote, with an insincere "Yours Sincerely " bribery; it all makes sense t...