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Anyways

                    Anyways;


What is depression actually? What is anxiety ?

Or what's the difference between both of them? 

Actually the mother of all these less cared for cliche diseases has been overthinking. And I happen to do it a lot; and I can perfectly tell you how it feels.

There are hundred thoughts on my mind, tht I share only with my walls. And there is Just one thought tht actually makes it to my mouth ; only one thought tht I can say to one real person. Rest 99 thoughts stay up in my mind all day and all night. Someday I'll write about tht one thought but not today.

So a boy committed suicide. He wasn't unhappy, he was doing good in studies and his game. He got a good job , was fulfilling his career goals but he still found a motivation to die ; which means you can never satisfy your need of a perfect Life even if it's perfect. Which means even the normal bright one wanted to die sometime. Which means depression/ anxiety isn't a fancy word for a sad life , it's literally, brutally a disease.

What's the trick to live then?

It's becoming selfish. Selfish for love, for life, for happiness, for all the things you put in ur bucket list so tht you pull them out to fulfill them some day.

For me, well, no matter how bad it gets, I won't physically harm myself ever again. I am selfish too; selfish for all the hurt and pain I can get out of this life. You won't find me dead physically although you may find me dead with words. A character of my story will die but the author won't , ever. 

People struggling with it wants to be treated like they were normal, but you have to give them special care anyways.

They'll want to stay in bed (always tired), but you take them out for dance anyways.

They'll not eat; not at all when they're onto one of those thought spirals, you make them food anyways.

They'll look at you with tht face and tht look tht they don't want to talk silly, you make them laugh anyways.

They'll need ur reassurance, not because they don't trust you or you don't care enough, but because they're sick . Not body sick but life sick ; but you make them feel loved anyways.

They'll be so strong sometimes tht they'll take a dagger for you and be so emotional tht they'll cry over spilled coffee but you don't make it a drama and believe it tht they're doing good anyways.

They'll be happy and sad at the same moment , that's not something to get mad about or concerned about, but you celebrate them anyways.

People struggling with their own selves are people who are the best hiders. Most lively ones are the most tired ones . Maybe the best player of basketball hides his pain or the best writer in Town hides hers.

Depression/anxiety is just stage 4 of self doubt. Stage 3 of regression, stage 5 of hopelessness and stage 6 of sensitivity.

And depression is stage 2 of  anxiety; depression feeds on anxiety; so you either overlook their flaws and accept them to make them better.

 or

 you run away from them, you run away from what you know is the consequence of bad life and deprived love. And let me tell you, people struggling with anxiety will want you to run away so that they can jump to stage 2 .

                     . . .














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