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Enneagram Test




"Mental illness is like fighting a war where the enemy's strategy is to convince you that the war isn't actually happening."


. . .


 So I took the enneagram test few days back and I still can't get over the results.

I m type "Two" personality; the helper/ the giver/ the sensitive. I looked up on the internet and found the song "Two" from "sleeping at last"  was for people with type Two personality like me. 

And you know what ? tht song kills me and yet makes me feel understood. Those lyrics, I can relate to tht song not because I am the one saying them but I wish I was the one they were said to; those are the words that I say to fictional characters in my mind hoping they'll say tht back too.

"Sweet heart, you look a little tired." This got me crying, the very first line. You get tht? How accurate this song is for people of type Two.

The YouTube comments section was worth reading , more than the video itself. I wanna share some of them .

                                . . .

WaffleAMV says-

"Helping people and ruining yourself in the process only to realise they wouldn't do the same for you"


Jenna Phillips says-

"I read something that hit deep; it said

Twos love deeply and selflessly but that doesn't mean there aren't any conditions. There is only one. They don't always know about this condition, and they might deny it. But it's that they want to be loved back. They relate to this singer, but they want to be the audience, too."


Mary V says-

"I think when most people first hear this song, they don't initially position themselves as the singer. At first you kind of imagine that you are the one being sung to, especially with first lyric being a direct question. I think this is very intentional. I think it represents how "twos" want to be to others what they wish others were to them. They give to others what they never received themselves. And I think that's pretty beautiful, but also a bit sad."


Alastair Maine says-

'I know it's supposed to be about people with the personality type 2, but this song feels comforting. It feels like someone actually cares about you. I keep coming back to this song and I cry every time. It's sad because they (perspective of the singer) sound so selfless and I want to be there for them too."

Sleeping at last.

The name gets me all the time.

I wanna run away to a forest ; I wanna sing ; I wanna roam around in the nature , the daylight, the dark night; why can't we be staring the same sky constantly? Why do I have to think soo much about it; we'll be together right? ;  I am thinking way too much; it's a bit immature ; why do I sound so sad; I really appreciate your words; am I not eating much? ; Do people find me depressed ?; I am not depressed, I just wanna talk about sadness because no one does talk about it; anyone's listening? I am happy, I just wanna talk about times when I wasn't; did I hurt you or them or anyone?; I didn't tell you how bad tht hurt me; I wanna dance, I wanna watch movies; ?; cats and babies are very cute; that's soo irritating; Taylor has a new album; I m so stupid; what the hell is wrong with me? You are afraid of me ; paranoid city.

My mind is a complicated scary place.

Then someone asks me " are you ok?"

I say " yes I am okay"

Because how am I supposed to make someone understand something even I don't understand. Something that makes me sooo happy and uncertain and happy all over again.

It's like one of those times , you see someone quietly struggling with a thought and you know that feeling, you wanna ask them if they are alright but you know if they are thinking , what you think they are thinking, then their answer might hurt you more.

I guess,

I should just keep it aside; all my thoughts aside and be.... sleeping at last.

                                  . . .




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