Three lives

If I get three lives,

I'll marry you in two

And in the third -

I'll be a struggling poet

In a dim room 

Trying to write down

What colour would your eyes be?

And why I know they will be dark brown 

I'll be alone, but not lonely 

I'll have a few friends, or many so

In this life I'll be more bony

I'll have bigger eye sockets, and eye balls:

chapped lips and sunken cheeks 

My favorite colour will be white :

Like the shade of dying snow

I'll spend my twenties,

Thirties writing you 

breaking 11 of my pens:

Why my silent sobs feel loud

Why the smell of blood reminds me of your mouth 

Why the ghost under my bed warms my cold feet 

With his warm hands 

In this life I'll marry too

And I'll make a husband regret me again

I'll ask him to love me just to 

Watch him fail ;

He'll ask me to love him , just to see me in pain 

I'll take pills and I'll do blood baths:

Scrubbing my skin to bones just to stay sane 

I'll sit in a dim room

Looking for my pen,

Wondering,

Why I feel i lost someone i never owned 

Why I miss someone i don't know 

I'll try hard to pen you,

To paint you,

To weave you,

To grow you,

To think you,

To believe you,

Into existing in this world 

No kids in this world for me

Cradles I bought will gain dust 

I'll start my life looking for you 

End it with the same thirst

A face once so familiar,

Now a speck of lust 

My beloved husband, will love me to the moon 

And in Saturn I'll look for us

If I get three lives,

I'll marry you in two

And in the third -

I'll still be looking for you