Drafts.

     " The moon hung over the planet Earth,

 a dead thing over a dying thing."

_John Fowles.

. . .

The three grey dots keep blinking...running... sometimes you catch them there, when they are blinking; but some 'most of the times' you don't know that they keep on trailing and running and blinking when the night turns to day... hoping you are still asleep away; pretending those words weren't for you; but typing , vigorously to frame a skeleton of a perfect picture... But nope...you won't know...'you' won't know..how many times people type out their emotions, expectations, empathy because they can't keep it in...in their mind and heart...and how many more times they backspace their regrets, regards, reassurance because they can't bring it out...out on a blank feeling less text.

Some confessions, cryings, cravings find their fate getting erased by a backspace...but some..few... words, wishes, wondering, wantings gain courage, and enough Leverage, Optimism, Validation , Energy to get into my drafts.

Something that you write to send to someone at a moment but then decide to let it be a draft, is it just what it looks like?

Yes. It is. Just what it looks like.

( Although, if you're talking about a person like me, it's the courage first of all tht is required to bring to words tht actually haunts your mind. The courage to stop thriving on semicolons and taking chance on a full stop. Courage to stop justifying your emotions but to choose to yell and demand. And most of the times it comes to words, words and feelings and comparisons with a '...like... you know' because damm it you don't know anything! Which is my fault that I don't let you know.

And after a momentary pause before hitting a send it arrow, you think. Again. And you realise it's tooo late to confess and confront tht person like this; but it's tooo early too... to regret and give up on tht same person like tht.

What do you do?

You save it as a draft. Maybe hoping to send them as a birthday present or a forever goodbye, but you are not sure yet if tht note...those words are gonna make them happy or sad because fr you...well it make you both sad and happy. So you save it ...all your words, feelings, emotions, comparisons, alterations, happiness, regrets ,love, hate, disappointments, hopefulness in a draft which will either find it's way to that person or to my backspace key.

So I keep those drafts, reading, re-reading changing, re-changing the words, the feelings , I keep manipulating a draft I know i will never send and maybe never delete.

I keep it as a living token of my coming honesty, and as a dead souvenir of my dying courage)

. . .

To sit all night writing, re-writing, backspacing, thinking...you find enough words,warmth, wishes to paint the skeleton of the picture and enough hope, heart, heather tht one day maybe you'll paint inside the picture too.

. . .

 " The sky stood above the land;

A hopeless stretch below an infinite band."

        _S.K.